Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Dear Tyler
Soon you will become 10 years old! This seems impossible to me, and yet, I know it is true. Today is October 1st. You were born on the 9th. What a whirlwind Life has been since you were born. So many things have changed in our lives, most for the better. We waited a long time for you. For a while I was thinking that we might never get Grandchildren! I guess we were just waiting for the time to be right. I will admit that I was not ready for the next Generation for a long time. I felt that I needed some time just for me. Time to check out the world. Time to rest. Time to see what I wanted to be when I grew up. I have to admit, I still don't know. You see, the problem has been that my Lifetime goal was to become a wife and Mommy. I remember when I was little how much I liked to play with my dollies. I would pretend to be their Mommy. I loved them so much. I did not have many dolls like some girls did. I did not have many dresses like some other little girls did. I did not get to go places like some girls that I knew did either. Part of that was because I did not like to go around other people all that much. I was too scared to want to be away from my folks. I was terrorized by the thought of losing them. I am not sure why I felt that way, but thanks goodness I grew out of that feeling!
But, this letter is not supposed to be about me. This letter is to be about you and your Big day that is coming up. Double digits! Wow. I wonder what new things will be coming your way? So much is out there to find and learn. You have done so much of that already. I am so very proud of you. I hope you know that you don't have to do anything for me to Love you. You are Loved just for who you are right now. You don't have to do everything just perfectly. I will always love you no matter what. You are my first born Grandson. That is enough. You have so much talent!
I hope you liked the paper and pencils and eraser I bought for you in Galena. I could have gotten them somewhere else, but I wanted to have a sweet memory of our going to Galena together. Thank you so much for going with us. Thank you so much for being so good so that your Mom, Aunt Lacey and I could enjoy ourselves. I know it was not the type of thing that either you or Hunter would have chosen to do. But we adults love to go there, mostly just to enjoy looking at things that are so beautiful.
I hope you have a nice Birthday Party. I forgot to ask what you will do on your real Birthday. Please have fun and eat some cake for me! I love you so much.
For now, I will say goodbye. I love you. Good night sweetheart. Smooch! (I hope you will never be too old to let me hug you and kiss your cheek.) Somehow, I don't think you will ever change when it comes to hugs! Love you muchly!
Grandma Kate
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Dear Boys,
I have just realized how long it has been since I have written to you here. Time has a way of speeding by.
So much has happened that I don't know where to begin! Not only have you grown so much and so fast, but many things have happened in everyday life too!
Tyler, you are almost through 3rd Grade! Wow, where did this year go?
Hunter, you will finish 1st Grade this coming Thursday. Wow, I can't believe it!
Since I wrote to you last time, we lost our Dear Ava. She has been gone a year and 2 months. I still find that difficult to believe. She left us so suddenly, in the night. I wonder if it was because she was tired of Hospitals and just wanted to sneak out? We will never know for sure. I guess it helps to believe it in that way. I will always wonder why she had to be born the way she was, and why she had to go away so soon. I remember reading some things about that sort of thing and they all said different things. All I know is that we were blessed to have her for 4.5 years. A Miracle in itself. None of us ever expected to be lucky enough to take care of her for that long. We really thought that every day might be her last. She was a determined little girl. She stuck it out as long as she could take the pain and suffering. We did our best to Love her and give her care and minimize her pain. That little girl had the most gorgeous hair that I have ever seen. So pretty and long! We all loved to take care of her. She was good at letting us know what bothered her, by crying. She would giggle sometimes too and I always wondered what little secret she knew that we didn't.
I know it was so terribly difficult for you boys to get through. NO little boys should have to go through losing a baby cousin or sister. That is what hurts my Heart most other than knowing that Ava could not do or even think about much of anything. SO UNFAIR!
You boys did such a wonderful job at the Funeral. You were shocked at first and typical boys afterward during the luncheon time. The memories of that day have good and bad memories, but mostly good ones. I remember Veda arguing with me about being included at the Family table. I told her she WAS Family. I think that meant a lot to her. Little did we know she would also be gone 3 months later. I hope she is helping to take care of Ava in Heaven. That thought is very comforting to me. Veda was our neighbor for so many years, and I did not even think about losing her so quickly. She would do anything for us and knew so much History that we now will lose. I hope she wrote a lot of it down for us all. She was the best Neighborhood watch ever! Hunter, you got to see her most of all the Grandchildren or even your Moms. She adored Children. Did you know she taught Sunday School and Bible School for over 50 years? That is amazing. We sure miss her a lot. Also at the Funeral, I remember you both sitting in the dining room waiting to eat. You were awfully tempted by those good desserts on the plates. There must have been every type of cake ever made there! You got to sit there by yourselves like grown up people. I don't even remember who sat with you other than Mitch, Tyler and Hunter. Such big boys! Gosh it is so wonderful to watch you growing up. Please slow down, will you? *wink* The other part of the Funeral that I remember most is Hunter's Mom, Lacey, singing one last time to Ava. I will never forget the Raindrops on Roses! I always loved that song. It was the song that would calm Ava down when she was hurting or crying, or both. My Heart is hurting just a bit as I write these Memories. But, it is good to remember. Also, I never told too many folks, but I swear I saw Ava's Spirit go up out of the Casket into Heaven. It went right up through the roof of the Sanctuary. It was like gauzy, misty smoke. It went slowly and beautifully up. Now I do know that it was probably all in my mind, but it remains comforting.
Funny and sweet too is that Carolyn came in a bit late and brought one of their new Golden Lab puppies with her in her Purse. How could we ever forget that? Also, seeing all of our Families there was so nice too. I know how difficult it is to go to a child's Funeral. (or anyone's for that matter) So many people came. Ava was loved by so many. Even her Doctor came! Dr. Vatta. What a wonderful man is he...even though he looks kind of scary! Seeing your Grandpa Larry's Families was nice too. Even Jack came and he was not feeling well at all. That was remarkable.
I need to stop this letter for now. My Eyes won't see through the Tears very well. You both take care and slow down with the growing up, okay? Love you to the Moon and Back a Million Times! (and that is a long, long ways!)
Grandma Kate
I have just realized how long it has been since I have written to you here. Time has a way of speeding by.
So much has happened that I don't know where to begin! Not only have you grown so much and so fast, but many things have happened in everyday life too!
Tyler, you are almost through 3rd Grade! Wow, where did this year go?
Hunter, you will finish 1st Grade this coming Thursday. Wow, I can't believe it!
Since I wrote to you last time, we lost our Dear Ava. She has been gone a year and 2 months. I still find that difficult to believe. She left us so suddenly, in the night. I wonder if it was because she was tired of Hospitals and just wanted to sneak out? We will never know for sure. I guess it helps to believe it in that way. I will always wonder why she had to be born the way she was, and why she had to go away so soon. I remember reading some things about that sort of thing and they all said different things. All I know is that we were blessed to have her for 4.5 years. A Miracle in itself. None of us ever expected to be lucky enough to take care of her for that long. We really thought that every day might be her last. She was a determined little girl. She stuck it out as long as she could take the pain and suffering. We did our best to Love her and give her care and minimize her pain. That little girl had the most gorgeous hair that I have ever seen. So pretty and long! We all loved to take care of her. She was good at letting us know what bothered her, by crying. She would giggle sometimes too and I always wondered what little secret she knew that we didn't.
I know it was so terribly difficult for you boys to get through. NO little boys should have to go through losing a baby cousin or sister. That is what hurts my Heart most other than knowing that Ava could not do or even think about much of anything. SO UNFAIR!
You boys did such a wonderful job at the Funeral. You were shocked at first and typical boys afterward during the luncheon time. The memories of that day have good and bad memories, but mostly good ones. I remember Veda arguing with me about being included at the Family table. I told her she WAS Family. I think that meant a lot to her. Little did we know she would also be gone 3 months later. I hope she is helping to take care of Ava in Heaven. That thought is very comforting to me. Veda was our neighbor for so many years, and I did not even think about losing her so quickly. She would do anything for us and knew so much History that we now will lose. I hope she wrote a lot of it down for us all. She was the best Neighborhood watch ever! Hunter, you got to see her most of all the Grandchildren or even your Moms. She adored Children. Did you know she taught Sunday School and Bible School for over 50 years? That is amazing. We sure miss her a lot. Also at the Funeral, I remember you both sitting in the dining room waiting to eat. You were awfully tempted by those good desserts on the plates. There must have been every type of cake ever made there! You got to sit there by yourselves like grown up people. I don't even remember who sat with you other than Mitch, Tyler and Hunter. Such big boys! Gosh it is so wonderful to watch you growing up. Please slow down, will you? *wink* The other part of the Funeral that I remember most is Hunter's Mom, Lacey, singing one last time to Ava. I will never forget the Raindrops on Roses! I always loved that song. It was the song that would calm Ava down when she was hurting or crying, or both. My Heart is hurting just a bit as I write these Memories. But, it is good to remember. Also, I never told too many folks, but I swear I saw Ava's Spirit go up out of the Casket into Heaven. It went right up through the roof of the Sanctuary. It was like gauzy, misty smoke. It went slowly and beautifully up. Now I do know that it was probably all in my mind, but it remains comforting.
Funny and sweet too is that Carolyn came in a bit late and brought one of their new Golden Lab puppies with her in her Purse. How could we ever forget that? Also, seeing all of our Families there was so nice too. I know how difficult it is to go to a child's Funeral. (or anyone's for that matter) So many people came. Ava was loved by so many. Even her Doctor came! Dr. Vatta. What a wonderful man is he...even though he looks kind of scary! Seeing your Grandpa Larry's Families was nice too. Even Jack came and he was not feeling well at all. That was remarkable.
I need to stop this letter for now. My Eyes won't see through the Tears very well. You both take care and slow down with the growing up, okay? Love you to the Moon and Back a Million Times! (and that is a long, long ways!)
Grandma Kate
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